


The Pirate with the Golden Dress

by HighLadyOfTheSith



Series: To the Stars Looked Upon [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe-Pirates, Tam tam in a dress, Tamlin The Tool, Tamlin as a pirate, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 12:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18031805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighLadyOfTheSith/pseuds/HighLadyOfTheSith
Summary: A request from@too-turnt-tamlinonmy tumblrJoin my discord





	The Pirate with the Golden Dress

There once was a pirate named Tamlin O’ Tool. He was–well I wouldn’t call him handsome, but I guess when compared to the ugliest pirates– moderately good-looking.

While he wasn’t the best, he had one thing that never failed to frighten his enemies–he wore a golden dress, and when confronted, he pulled up his skirts and those that opposed him ran away in disgust and fear that the lumps would spread.

This defense mechanism only failed once, when the ship was attacked by a blind kraken. Unable to scare the beast away, it destroyed the ship and Tamlin O’ Tool was the only survive. Without food nor water, he floated along the ocean until a passing ship pulled him up.

He was a sorry sight, water sloughing off of his ruined gold dress.

His rescuer was a beautiful female, grey-blue eyes and golden-brown hair. She let him stay on the ship, in exchange for his labor and that he take off that hideous dress.

Months went by and the beautiful female was starting to not be so grossed out by him. When at last he gathered all his courage to ask her out when they reached Prythian, she said, “Ewww no! Get off my ship! And get another job, you’re a terrible pirate!”

And thus ended Tamlin O’ Tool’s pirating career, and his self-esteem(not that he should have had any to begin with)


End file.
